Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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