What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
