what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
