suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
