i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
