There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
