I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
