You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
