And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
