4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
