Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
