To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
