He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
