my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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