Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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