We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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