K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
