If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
