great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Randomize
