hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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