oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
