Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Drunk is not a location!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
