it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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