i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
