Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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