so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
