Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
