I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
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Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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