We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
