there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So vagazzling was a success
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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