Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
