if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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