I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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