a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
