His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
