Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Quick, to the slutcave!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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