we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
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