apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
