you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
