We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
