Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
