normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
