I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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