shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
