"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
