when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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