can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
