So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
