i think my tv is drunk
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
