Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
