Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
