I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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